Those that lacked depth or true relationship with God are lost and floundering. When I tried to explain that I tempered my excitement after noticing he seemed down and I didnt want to be insensitive, he shook his head like I was being silly and trying to cover something he could see right through. It was just a misunderstanding! (Do you feel the spiritual side of it? Something was Wrong 516 subscribers When Sara got engaged, she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. Something Was Wrong is an award winning docuseries podcast about the discovery, trauma and recovery of being engaged to a sociopath. Podcast Discovery . *Content warning: Substance Use Disorder, emotional abuse, sexual assault, suicidal ideation, workplace abuse. Ill never forget a time in San Francisco when he purposefully drove his truck out of the way through a flooded corner, sending a massive wall of water straight up into the air that came crashing down on a crowd of people waiting to cross the street. When we receive the gift of what Jesus did for us,He isnt looking at our shortcomings, so why should we? Sara moved way too fast in this relationship and she hopefully learned something at 30. There's a special place in hell for that guy. I added much to his life. This is often why I believe He allows hardship- not that He is the direct cause of bad or difficult times, but His nearness is undeniably different when were in pain and we need Him. When it was clear we were spiraling out of control, in His consistency God abided by His own rules and sent someone without sin to shed blood for us, so we wouldnt have to keep sacrificing flawless animals the Old Testament way to approach Him. Agreed. For the first time, I ignored this person and put it in the cart without even knowing why, because I never buy prints. Surely if hed written those letters he wouldnt be sloppy enough to leave it open on a laptop hed be letting me use? One of the things I value most is treasuring the personal information of my friends. When Sara got engaged, she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. So to hear those words from my fiance, the person whose opinion I hold in the highest regard, cut really deep. Their stories will be told in an episodic format meaning more inspiring stories and less cliffhangers. I was told this past week that when were wearing rose-colored glasses, red flags just look like flags. It makes me cringe. As Christians, we are suppose to obey thy father and thy mother but it also says that you leave your mother and father and be with your spouse. I kept asking myself, how did we get here?. 00:02:56 - When Sara got engaged, she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. I know where my heart was. He, meets me. Tee and Sylvia become closer as Sylvia and her son experience health challenges. Its taken me nearly a year to break apart and analyze every mystery, every gut-punch, every moment of confusion. Until a week before their wedding when she discovers something is wrong. Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something w . For those who are unfamiliar with psychopathsand narcissists, this is one way they succeed while minimizing damage visible to the public eye. For various reasons, we often try to convince ourselves that we deserve less than our dreams. Physical abuse is evil, but emotional abuse is insidious as it hides, especially with gaslighting involved. Charts. 1. The loosey-goosey-ness has been humbling and revealing. You have all these moving parts literally every digit is moving but dont ever allow fingers 2 and 5 to physically lift from the keys while playing because those notes are tied. (You will get caught.) Update. After the gym, I went to bed with the Etude on repeat. Use the prompts, write for 5-20 minutes each day and youll be amazed at how quickly you make progress on your book. Rather than bottle everything up and ruin our lovely afternoon together, I shouldve communicated better in order for him to simply explain so we could move on. You were not ignorant, blind or naive for falling for that person and finding yourself in that situation. He was lying. If I was upset, hed wind up saying, maybe I did ___ to you [yet to be proven], but YOU did ____, ____, and ____ to ME!. I walk a line with choosing to blog about my real-time process, teetering toward avoidance when that process hits a bump in the road called full clarity and the resulting fury. Studying him and being sensitive, I set the grocery bags on the ground to hug him and was met with stony silence. But on September 25th, 2007, that bubble burst with the murder of one of its longtime residents. Looking around, Im surrounded by incredible people to champion and go to war for me. Still in the first season of it, and was instantly hooked after the first episode. (I dont know if Im ready to post my thoughts on church leadership that encourages anyone to remain in an abusive marriage. Hear from survivors who have never before agreed to share their story publicly in this heartbreaking and harrowing season. We went about our work date, my heart racing and mind running wild. I was telling friends I call my special ops that I was amazed by how different our first conversations were. Check out Sara's personal blog, Space & Purpose. Follow Sara Lewis on Instagram@SpaceandPurposeCheck out Saras Blogspaceandpurpose.comSomething Was Wrong Podcast, featuring Saras story. What will we attempt when we no longer see our lack, but His potential? He is extremely active on social media, especially Twitter, and he would fly into picking fights and arguments that he would gleefully show me, especially around Christian topics. The actual moment my story from The Year that is No More became available to the world via podcast, I was dripping sweat at the gym while blasting Eminem in my ears. reviewed: Something Was Wrong Love the podcast. In past blog sites I wrote about random funny stories or my process with the Lord, but I started this page while recovering from narcissistic and sociopathic abuse. (IM SORRY JOHN & STACI I blatantly judged your book by its cover. Id feel uncomfortable with the insults hed quickly throw at people crossing him, and embarrassed at the lack of Christlike character it showed. As Iridian begins her new job, the workplace gossip and odd interactions circle closer and closer to home. Hilariousnow Ive stared at it all summer while my heart has healed in so many ways. People will have opinions on your storyand you might not like all of those opinions. With things being different, this means the stage is being set for those who have felt displaced, in waiting or unseen, perhaps with a story or passion but no clear platform for it. Enjoy it., It wasnt until my vocal instructor countered my argument of the day with a phrase that rang in my ears for years to follow: You need to get over yourself.. Your body is exhausting itself, constantly on edge/in fight-or-flight, trying to figure out your footing and what is up vs. down. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. Learn more about your ad choices. For those wondering and asking, I truly am doing well! Pleaded for him to give it some time. Just recently I remembered his family asking me about my medical career while having dinner in Colorado. This episode comes out for free on Thursday, March 9th 2023. The excitement quickly faded when unexpected flashbacks accompanied the unboxing of last winters clothes, and with each cooler day, I started digging my heels into the ground to slow down the deja vus invading at random times. Violation of physical or emotional rights of others, Coinciding symptoms from childhood (before age 15). If it was my sister, I'd have probably created a true crime story for all you to listen to. I haven't not dated anyone because of their approval, but I almost missed out on the love of my life because of my worries they'd judge his very specific artistic style. Youll see information about Young Living and probably food, cause it matters to me and Iplan my travels based on the destinations snacks. S1 E1: There Were No Red Flags. I love scenes in movies that enter the main characters point of view and suddenly that church choir is looking directly at them, pigeoned there in the pews, belting WRITE THE THIIIIIIINGS! Genuinely curious), especially in light of his critical comments on alcohol. But I started listenin Mon night & am 9eps into S1. *Content warning: fraud, emotional abuse, sexual coercion. You can have your opinions about the podcast and freely share them but please no "What I/she/he should have done.." narratives please. He finally has our full attention. I didn't wait until everything was perfect to go live, and since then I've thrown my hands up and let it roll. Seeing the abuse I endured last year so clearly now stirs a passion in me to stop it from happening to others. The idea of him turning right back around seemed ludicrous. I was stunned. I may not be all things, but I can be obedient and He is faithful. It reminds me an awful lot of rubbing a dogs nose in his own urine when he goes in the house. Later on behind closed doors (especially sitting in the car while waiting for people to cross the street), and eventually in public places like coffee shops and grocery stores, he would refer to people as fat, ugly, or worthless. It makes no sense to outside observers; it can even appear counterintuitive to fight fear with stillness. YOU matter. Both hands have independent melodies that you must differentiate between, so listeners can hear each one sing. (I remember that word so well.) I know His timing is perfect but Ifeel irritated. A few months ago, I was thankful simply to go through the motions of each day, having lost myself somewhere I couldnt return to, feeling nothing. At that moment this thought/impression entered my mind: If you could see as I do. We support artists from around the world, who create works speaking to inclusion, feminism, equality, wellness, and other important social issues to both promote diversity in media & spread ideas that encourage openness. I think they have several internal problems as well. Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something w Listen Later. . He gained access by discovering what mattered to me, big and little things, and making them matter to him. I have spent the last two days binging this, mostly at work (made the days go really fast! A dog I adored (he physically abused and terrorized her), a home I admired daily, roommates who made life a blast and a neighborhood I would sit and breathe deep in. I'm sure this was a neon sign for my abuser. When Kenzie first met Joe she thought he was funny, successful and charming. I closed the door and sat down, turning the fan and faucet on so he wouldnt hear me crying and praying. If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks then look no further. like seriously awful. (@SpaceandPurpose) I asked myself, what must I be doing wrong if my own fiance doesnt trust me with his secrets? I was mortified over the tears that forced their way down my face all over again, and now the shame and embarrassment made me feel like a little kid. That SAME song always, is so indescribably bad. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. Narcissism 101, my friends. linktr.ee/spaceandpurpose The police have you surrounded. I want my friends to feel safe. Another way to listen early and ad-free is subscribing to Wondery+ in Apple Podcasts or the Wondery App. I can see why people write the whole thing off, especially after hearing about how I allowed my dog to be treated. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-Winning immersive storytelling docuseries podcast that focuses on the discovery, trauma, and recovery from emotionally (and otherwise) abusive relationships. Ashley Abercrombie: So youre a ghostwriter? This season, 11 incredible survivors share their stories of shocking life discoveries and the recovery from them. The series is told through the lens of the survivor so if you aren't For fans of the podcast, Something Was Wrong, you may recognize Sara from Season 1. This scenario doubles as an example of gaslighting: He was folding clothes by my bed one evening and said, Well Id never share a secret with you. I paused what I was doing and looked up, surprised, wondering where he was going with this. Morbid is a true crime, creepy history and all things spooky podcast hosted by an autopsy technician and a hairstylist. For some reason, he threw on a fake New Jersey accent and waved his hand flippantly as he said, Yeah! It seems easier in the moment, but at what hidden costs? Have you asked yourself why something just feels inexplicably wrong, confusing, and overwhelming? Its a lighthearted nightmare in here, weirdos! Amazing how long it took for the truth to sink in! For some reason this of all things pierced my heart. Christian friends, were not being spoon-fed anymore. Coming to a podcast near you that will knock your winter socks off. Analyzing every response, I got very quiet and in my head. With opening the eyes of anyone who reads this and needs it, because your freedom and empowerment matters. Abuse Recovery, christianity, Uncategorized. Best Podcasts. Play I could hold conversations, but knew something was broken and my mind was doing its survival thing by blocking out and shelving trauma. You [everyone] in the beginning.. This episode comes out for free on Thursday, February 16th 2023. Most of them are a bit extra IMO, lol. Mine was all mental, so I minimized it because outwardly it didnt appear as dramatic as others stories. I was in tears over how poorly Id handled my distrust. I also haven't really been vulnerable to showing my whole self, including family, to the men I date because of this. He had an explanation as to why Bryan had sent him an electronic copy for safe-keeping in case the hard copies got lost in the mail, but his point was my failure in how I handled the situation. thought probably suffocating you right now as you read this is the one you need to act on right now. As the numbness wears off and Im pulling old files to compile my story, I read texts with clear eyes. This group is all for free speech, but it must also be a safe space for similar victims of abuse or adjacent behavior. Im 1 of the ppl screaming "whats his real name? Beautiful day. Please God, if you have any mercy dont let her catch the pianissimo she overlooked. Responded as if I could do no wrong because he was in awe of everything. If for some reason you always walk away from time with someone feeling like you have a lot of self-work to do instead of feeling bolstered and encouraged, take heed and maybe put your running shoes on. For free and confidential resources, please visit: somethingwaswrong.com/resourcesSources:https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violencehttps://www.nsvrc.org/statisticshttps://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/sexualviolence/fastfact.htmlTo purchase SWW merch, please visit: represent.com/store/somethingwaswrongS15 Artwork by the amazing Sara Stewart @GreaterThanOkaySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. He is light in the darkness. First, however, I had to allow Him to pick up the pieces of a shattered sense of self, and reconstruct my concept of what I have to contribute to the world around me. Calabasas is a quiet, well-to-do California town often referred to as "The Bubble.". I realize thats not fair to them- it shows a lack of respect for their ability to make room for me in their lives and its not fair to anyone who needs the encouragement. I am a multi-disciplinary maker of beautifully useful things that enrich lives. I cant continue to sacrifice words Ive been given at the risk of having them misunderstood. When Sara got engaged she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. I must have looked nuts, laughing and assuring him Id never been better while he tilted his head and looked at me, asking if I was ok. He just needed to get out. episodes discover Most Recent February 24, 2022 1 hr 24 min Download S11 E8: [Molly] Unimaginable Rage This week survivor Molly shares her story. We are not going back to normal or anything comfortably livable this time around unless we do the things we were put here to do. I get being close with your family, but man goodness, cut the cord already. If its a hectic one or has something Im not looking forward to, Ill reach further and look for a break in the clouds to set my sights on, and let that ray of light keep me focused. Literally the only podcast other than Bloody Happy Hour Podcast that I have listened to every episode and I cant wait each week for the newest episode to drop! Although I sort of saw the humor in it (because I was open & trusted where I stood with him), looking back, it made me feel hurt, insecure and confused around how to play along. but decided on a whim to got back to season one and listen to Sara's whole story. Heres the biggest revelation of many this summer: I am deserving of my dreams, and on top of that, Gods for me are bigger. He finally has our full attention. A good Father does not take away to leave a permanent void. Tee is happy to help out her close friend and coworker, Slyvia, when she becomes sick. How will we live? I usually tap my fingers nervously, hoping I dont have to get loud for the truth thats screaming in my head to be heard or to make myself seen in order for what I, We are not going back to normal or anything comfortably livable this time around unless we, . You will be inundated with why I love this company and my job. One moment, someone he knew was a genius. I never had to obtain the "approval" of my sister -- it's just a lot of input for this poor woman and a lot to satisfy. I was watching Richard Grannons youtube video on Covert Narcissists and found it to be one of the most well-rounded explanations Ive seen. 64.2k Followers, 178 Following, 52 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Something Was Wrong Podcast (@somethingwaswrongpodcast) Welcome to a spiritual war. The other side reveals the most dangerously effective person I can imagine: someone who has realized they have nothing to lose. Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) (@spaceandpurpose) Instagram photos and videos spaceandpurpose Follow 173 posts 20.6K followers 207 following Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) Personal blog Health, beauty, funny things Coming January '23: the S&P Podcast! The other day, a line from one of Steffany Gretzingers songs was floating around in my head all day. I definitely was emotional and thankful, but they still talk about the grand scale of his reaction and how uncomfortable it made everyone. Shows > Something Was Wrong > Season 14 Exhibit C 13 Episodes Season 14 Also Listen On More Options Social Media Pages Share This Show All Episodes Season 14 His Moods Really Swing E S14 E1 Oct 20, 2022 43 min *Content warning: This episode includes discussion of rape, disordered eating, emotional, sexual and physical violence,. The Something Was Wrong podcast meetup/live recording last week and although we had no idea what to expect, it was incredible. Air is huge. Since 2012, MTV's reality series Catfish has taken us through the murky waters of online dating by investigating relationships and exposing the people who lie about their identities. I'm on episode 10 and have enjoyed it but also feel like maybe Sara is a littleextra lol. 2. A cornered narcissist will spin you up in so many words that youll forget the origin of the conversation, forget your own point, and somehow end up at fault for something you still dont understand. No bruises to show for their huge act of leaving and tearing their family apart. They allowed dating at 16, but I wasn't in a rush and only knew how to be homies with guys through college. Thank goodness, because without their constructive input, I never would have taken a good hard look at things and asked myself what I could have done differently! Hours later when Id suggest we cook at home to save money, he would insist we eat dinner at the most expensive sushi restaurant in Sacramento. ), Christian friends, were not being spoon-fed anymore. There used to be a grating feeling in my gut that I was destined to attend womens luncheons and exchange flower pots until a young single pastor arrived and gave me my purpose. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. As my faithful poet Chris Martin says, Lights will guide you home.. FREE interactive safety plan to help you prepare: loveisrespect.org. Something Was Wrong is written, recorded, edited and produced by Tiffany Reese. His family was placing big burdens on him. Terrifying, simultaneously, to see how this strategy operates and deceives intelligent and discerning people. r/podcasts: a subreddit to discover, discuss, and review podcasts with other podcast enthusiasts. Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something was wrong. They wont see the truth of who you really are or arent. Ive gone through seasons of counseling twice now. A gaslightingvictim is fed just enough truth to make them more accepting of a lie, like hiding a dogs medication in a treat. Or when were fired up and desperate for something, and come running to Him full of big emotions. A docuseries podcast about the discovery, trauma and recovery of being engaged to a sociopath. As part of this mission, r/podcasts is curated to promote respectful and on-topic discussions. Stress is never an excuse for insults and back-handed compliments- those should be followed with a genuine apology. As all of this was hot and fresh, my godmother sat me down and formally requested that I read a book called Captivating by John & Staci Eldredge. What if exposure isnt such a bad thing? Season 7. When my story is released to the public, in all its true-crimey-ness, Im thrilled to know that it will ultimately point to the miracle He did in rescuing me. Or experiencing fulfillment. Eight days out, I was ready to move forward at full speed, thinking a wedding was the answer to serious problems. Once we were alone in my room I asked what was going on. Shes into Young Living. (If girls were single, they were waiting. I was preparing to become the helpmeet my dream guy was looking for, instead of calling it living my dang life.). Not just basics, but specialty items he wanted to try. I still remember the shrug of his shoulders when I peered around the freezer door and asked him about the organic vodka (does organic even matter at that point? For fans of the podcast, Something Was Wrong, you may recognize Sara from Season 1. For free and confidential resources, please visit: somethingwaswrong.com/resourcesGirls Next Level PodcastGirls Next Level on Instagram: @girlsnextlevel_podcastFollow Holly on Instagram: @hollymadisonTo purchase SWW merch, please visit: represent.com/store/somethingwaswrongArtwork by the amazing Sara Stewart @GreaterThanOkay - Instagram.com/greaterthanokaySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. I have a point to make with my past that I will shamelessly vent here now: perhaps we shouldnt devalue the gravity of the Cross by continuing to wallow and call ourselves sinners, though Im no seminary student. Truth broke walls I couldnt scale and I will never turn away from it nor forget its power to rescue. Neither can you. Pretty dang quickly. Now is not the time to wait for one to reveal itself- you probably know exactly what it is, and that surely not. Youre easier to read than you think. ), (There were too many blinders on at that point to recognize that life will ALWAYS throw curveballs testing the patience of myself and the person Im with. With the cooperation of the investigative agency, Solvable by audiochuck takes the listener behind closed doors and speaks directly to the past and current personnel who are responsible for investigating these crimes. Anyone who has tried it knows it teaches him to cower and hide the next time he messes up and this defined my idea of how God saw me for far too long. When Im desperate for something, I remember Him and draw close. The vileness of words spoken in the final couple of months, contrasted with the soft, loving words that originally sucked me in made me nauseated. My mind: if you have any mercy dont let her catch the she! The idea of him turning right back around seemed ludicrous, every gut-punch every... 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I love this company and my job I value most is treasuring the personal of! Podcast enthusiasts screaming & quot ; whats his real name at people crossing him, and making matter! Its taken me nearly a year to break apart and analyze every mystery, gut-punch... My fiance, the person whose opinion I hold in the first episode reasons, often! Interactions circle closer and closer to home although we had no idea what to,...